Oops here it is! The first half of 2016 is done, behind us, the past, finished, out, the end. I do trust that this does not find you in despair, but full of joy and excitement about what is still to come?
July and August are, in our hemisphere, the summer months. If you are living in Europe like me, you probably did not yet recognise all its glory. Well, at least we know what rain feels like. Let’s not get ourselves down by the weather and talk about a very important subject: FRUSTRATION.
Such a terrible thing! Do we really need to address it? Yes. Let’s not just sweep it under the carpet. In psychology, frustration is a common emotional response to opposition. It arises when you perceive resistance to the fulfilment of your will, and it relates to anger and disappointment. The greater the obstruction, and the greater the will, the more the frustration is likely to be.
If not, I congratulate you for your indestructible countenance.
Common denominators
My frustration comes with the puppy talks. As you imagine, these discussions are more of a ‘what-do-you-want-from-me-woman’ monologue where the puppy stares me down and I talk. What I want her to do is certainly not what she wants to do.Conflict can be an internal and external source of frustration. Competing goals that are not compatible – even in your Self.
In fact, all causes of frustration can be internal or external. Internal frustration may also arise from challenges in fulfilling personal goals and desires; external causes of frustration may involve outside conditions, such as a difficult task.
Maybe you are frustrated at work?
Consider reading Hackman and Oldham (1975) The Job Characteristics Model.
Willpower
Much of the subject of frustration comes back to willpower. If you have the opportunity to check out Carl Massy’s book The Guidebook to Optimum Health, you can find some background information. We actually had a recent discussion together about willpower.
Willpower, self-discipline, or self-control requires a lot of energy. You can choose to eat the last cookie or not. Your brain is a muscle that will help you make these choices.
The more you exercise your willpower the stronger it gets. But you need to give it proper fuel, nutrition, and, once in a while, give it a break, or it will fuse. BAM! Yes, frustration. Maybe even accompanied by anxiety or depression.
Meet the twins: Failure & Frustration
Failure is a synonym of frustration. Passive–aggressive behaviour may be a result of failure and frustration.
The good news is, there are remedies to all of this. Here is my personal list of advice.
Antidotes
Failure is only feedback. There is no such thing as “to fail”. There is only one thing that is “to try”.
Take it easy. We live in a quick-response, result-driven society. I regret this a lot. Other countries take things like pause, outdoors and nature more important than deadlines. The quality of life is a gazillion times better, as you can imagine. At the end of the day, you will not remember the hours spent at the office. You will remember the time spent with your friends and family.Step it down a notch. If our expectations are too high, then you will have to put a lot of energy in your willpower. You will get frustrated with yourself and the results. Just take it down a level. Relax. Breathe.
Get help. If you are feeling overwhelmed with a situation, find someone to help you. All you need to do sometimes is ask.
Be prepared to alter your route. Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans. John Lennon. Trust the flow. Whatever happens will bring you something. Go with it.
Do not give up! The reason most people never achieve their dreams is because they simply give up. Remember that the times when its most important to persevere are the times that you will be most tested. Remember that guy that gave up? Neither does no one else.
Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.
You are doing great! Keep up and you will be kept up.
Light & Love
